Dependent Personality Disorder : 10 signs – how to recognize the problem

Dependent Personality Disorder : 10 signs - how to recognize the problem

People with dependent personality disorder (PDD) need constant support and emotional needs. Most often, they choose one person, such as a spouse, on whom they rely in all areas of life. What are the signs of Dependent Personality Disorder?
Natalie could not understand why sister Amanda did not divorce her husband. She had been watching for years how her sister tolerated his betrayals, unbearable character, desire to control every step, even cruelty. The sister constantly complained about her husband, but did not divorce him. When Natalie realized that the cause was dependent personality disorder, it became easier for her to communicate with her sister. How to understand weather we deal with such a problem?

1. STRONG FEAR OF DIVISION

The fear of separation is not the same as the fear of rejection. When we fear separation, we feel rejected. When we are afraid of separation, we do not perceive ourselves as a complete person without another person.

2. UNWILLING TO MAKE DECISIONS

Since childhood, Amanda was afraid to decide something. She needed a million advice from her sister in any situation, until a husband appeared in her life. Even after she had already made some decision, she repeatedly asked if she had done the right thing

3. THE NEED FOR SHIFTING THE RESPONSIBILITY ONTO OTHERS

This can be anything: finances, the decision to get married or divorce, the principles of raising children, and so on. People with this problem are usually happy to give it all to someone else. For a man who wants to control everything, such a wife becomes an ideal choice, because he does not tolerate attacks on authority in the house. However, such a “coincidence” of two people is dysfunctional.

4. FEAR OF CONFRONTATION

Amanda hated conflicts and preferred never to argue with her husband and even with Natalie herself, she was afraid of losing their sympathy and approval. Because of this, she constantly endured what she did not like at all.

5. THE HABIT OF DOING WHAT YOU REALLY DON’T WANT

One day, after going to the church where her sister worked as a volunteer, Natalie noticed that she was very upset. Natalie asked if she liked helping out during a church service. The sister admitted that she never wanted and does not want to do this, but one of the ministers pressed on the feeling of guilt, saying that there was no one else who could not cope without her.

6. BELIEVING YOUR OWN FAIL

This kind of people sincerely believe that they cannot take care of themselves, so they definitely need someone else to take responsibility for them. Usually they cannot be alone for a long time, without some kind of relationship. If there is a break, they fill this void with friends and relatives until a new partner appears.

7. FALSE PASSIVITY AND HELPLESSNESS

One of the contradictions in Amanda’s case was that at work she was a very successful and confident woman. At home, she became passive and unable to make decisions. Natalie knew that, in fact, her sister was more than capable of doing serious things and being responsible for them.

8. INCREASED SENSITIVITY TO CRITICISM

Natalie’s sister was comfortable with constructive criticism at work, but the slightest disapproval from loved ones became a disaster for her. Any reproach from her husband was unsettling. When her husband temporarily disappeared from her life, this attitude was transferred to Natalie – her sister could not bear even a hint of disapproval of some actions.

9. TOLERANCE TO VIOLENCE

One of the main characteristics of such people is the ability to ignore violence against them, to justify the abuser in all possible ways. Even if aggression is obvious, it is difficult to resist. This attitude makes them a target for controlling people.

10. DISRESPECT OF PERSONAL NEEDS

People with this disorder consider the needs of others more important. Especially when it comes to the person they “rely” on. They gladly satisfy other people’s desires, because they consider this a manifestation of love. Unfortunately, this feature is often used for selfish purposes, putting these people in an unpleasant or even dangerous position.

After some time, our woman found the strength to get a divorce, and her family supported her. In less than a few months, she found herself in a new relationship.

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