How to forget about the past on your own at any age and move on: understand causes and value of mistakes
Every person has a point in his or her life when they ask themselves, “How can I let go of the past and start living in the present?” When we are unhappy and burdened by emotions of guilt or irreversible loss, it appears that life will never be the same again, and that the dark streak that has entered it will not go away. Is that true, though? Is it possible that our difficulties and misfortunes are unique to us? Why do other people live while we continue to beat ourselves up over past mistakes and grieve for those who have passed us by? Do we really want to spend the rest of our lives burying our heads in the sand of our memories, blind to the universe of possibilities that surround us? Nobody in their right mind would respond yes to any of these questions or read an article with a headline like that.
If you haven’t yet closed the browser tab, you are concerned about what is going on in your life but have yet to find a solution. In this scenario, I have excellent news: letting go of the circumstance and beginning a new life is simple. There were no voluntary efforts, no treatment plans or meetings with high-priced specialists, no chemistry, and no “conventional” therapy. All you need is a little logic and common sense, some capacity to appraise the issue from the outside, and some self-confidence. Your aim is to realize that the past no longer has any influence over you. Not to believe it, but to derive it from a series of straightforward logical deductions. Only in this way will you be able to break free from the false attitude that keeps you trapped in memories and prevents you from living in the present. A falsehood is your worst foe. The truth is your weapon. Do not be frightened to join this struggle; there is no way you can lose. All you have to do now is learn to let go of the circumstance and forgive yourself for your previous errors.
Why should you let go of the past, and should you?
Our memories are our history, and we have no control over them. Humanity has yet to devise a method for erasing bad memories from memory, but even if it did, it would be a band-aid rather than a solution to the problem. The issue is not that we recall anything awful, but that we mishandle these recollections. You enable the situation to finish by letting go of it.
What is the significance of failure?
Consider this scenario: if you burn your hand once and then forget about it, how can you avoid a second burn? Will you be able to escape the third burn if the second is forgotten, and so on? Isn’t it because you fell that you’re staring down at your feet? Because you have a cold, why don’t you dress warmly? Are you selecting your foods with caution since you are aware of the signs and symptoms of food poisoning? Have any of your friends mastered the art of swimming without taking a breath or skating without striking a single bump? You claim that this does not occur, and you are correct. Our journey has not been simple; we have paid a high price in terms of heartache and disappointment, which is why it is so worthwhile.
Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of my examples. They appealed to me since they are visual, and the process for acquiring experience remains unchanged as the issue becomes more complex; only the bumps get more severe. Breaking apart a marriage, for example. Tell me, if you hadn’t had past relationship experiences, would you have created a marriage? How many threats would it face, and how probable would it be to collapse much sooner? And if you had to start again with today’s experience, you would be able to save it or even give it up straight immediately, without having to think about how to let go of the circumstance on a subconscious level and be content in the moment. Conclusion: you have acquired experience and have gotten wiser and more cautious.
Why do we get so worked up over failure?
A strange experiment was once carried out by scientists.
A mouse and a rat were tossed into the water. They both lingered on the surface for around 20 minutes before becoming weary and sinking. One mouse drowned, but the other was handed a board at the last possible minute, which she climbed and fled on.
Two mice were tossed into the water the next day, one of which was the one who had escaped the previous time. The new mouse drowned in 20 minutes, but the old one floundered for several hours on the surface! Her desire to survive and fight was fueled by her memories of the tablet.
The volume of the problem is deafening. It is tough to trust that one would be able to heal and live a complete life. Lack of faith in the future fuels a desire to live in the past, endowing it with weight and importance in our minds, and transforming it into a stand-in for actual existence. We find it difficult to let go of the past, not because we need it so desperately, but because we are terrified of losing what we have in it. However, it is a fallacy to believe that the past exists objectively; only the present does, and existence lives only inside it. In order to live in the present, you must be able to let go of the past.
How to let go of a terrible circumstance while continuing to live
IThese headers appear in my post because this is how most readers ask themselves questions. But, in actuality, these inquiries are absurd. Furthermore, they are damaging and force a person into a type of enslavement from which it is impossible to free themselves.
Get two things in your head:
- There’s nothing else to give up.
- You’re already surviving.
There’s nothing else to give up.
Three months ago, a buddy of mine divorced. She said she was depressed since she was going through a terrible divorce when I inquired what was causing it. And it’s here that an obvious logical flaw emerges: pardon me, but you could get divorced in the process. All of this rushing about the courts, bureaucracy, property division, children, strange acquaintances, uncertainty, and a slew of other problems is enough to drive anyone insane. But, after all, everything was over three months ago; there was nothing further to be concerned about; she had already gone through everything. There is still a lot of crap out there; all you have to do is notice it! Where she should have danced with joy, my buddy was killing herself with black sadness. I was able to explain this notion to her as a result of a brief talk, and she still feels terrific – she was able to accept the circumstance, forgive the prior offense, and move on.
How important our mental state is to us – it may be both our executioner and our savior. Despair is a grave sin for a reason: it breeds another mortal sin, namely, lying. We deceive ourselves and trust our own deception. We turn ourselves into victims and relish in our misery. In the meantime, a lifetime of joys and marvels has passed. It’s yours if you’re honest with yourself.
You already live now
Please accept my apologies if I have disappointed you, but you can never “start living.” They only live once, at the time of birth. A person who tells himself, “One day I will start over or continue to live,” develops an attitude of expectancy. As in, something will occur, and everything will be forgotten. This is just another deception that might lead to serious consequences. Everything has already happened, thus nothing will happen. Because you haven’t completed, you won’t begin to live. It’s a waste of time to wait for life to come to you; it’s always right in front of you. You stare beyond her, hoping for some kind of vague “miracle.” Isn’t it odd that a true miracle never occurs?
- Try not to ignore the past or push memories away; this is impossible and will result in a psychological collapse.
- Don’t savor them and don’t hold grudges against them. These are ineffective and dangerous behaviors.
- Accept it as is since it is a part of your existence.
- Analyze it, learn from it, and enjoy your newfound wealth.
- Live in the present moment. Even if the past has not yet been ill, it will soon be relegated to the memory shelf and cease to annoy you. To transform the future, it is just to let go of the past’s web of issues.